There are many ways of exploring sexual, sensual, psychological and emotional
needs and fulfilling them, far more than most people ever consider. Why
don't we consider some of these 'alternative' methods of experiencing pleasure?
Quite often it is because we allow the society we live within to dictate to us
what is "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong," or "normal" vs. "abnormal."
We allow society or social structure to dictate what is "acceptable."
Because of our societal conditioning we tend to consider everything as either
black or white, good or bad and we try to assign values to specific behaviors
and practices. In reality, life itself is dynamic and always moving, thus
it would mix the colors and rather than having simple black and white we would
have gray, a mixture of the colors. I use the analogy of color because it
easily demonstrates the active processes of life.
Having experienced other cultures and their different value
assignments to colors and actions, I prefer to look at actions, things, and people as if on
a spectrum of colors... and if you ever noticed, there is no black or white in
the rainbow! So taking this viewpoint, there are no absolutes, only
shadings of color. Now, assuming that we agree on the relativity of each
person's view of the world at least where it concerns sensual practices and
participation, I think we can proceed.
There are as many practices, philosophies and ways of living that fall under the
umbrella of BDSM as there are people enjoying the many facets of this lifestyle
and exploration of sensuality so don't take this discussion as anywhere near
complete in it's scope. Indeed, for the most part I'm going to limit the
majority of the discourse to that of heterosexual or Dominance and
submission because that is my particular area of enjoyment and involvement.
Within the community of practitioners of BDSM are many different sorts of
people. There are sadists (like me), masochists (like some of my
favorite people), dominants, submissives, gay, lesbian, transgendered,
transsexual, cross-dressers, transvestites, straight heterosexuals
(often called vanilla) people who are just starting to explore and just about
anyone and any mix you can think of. There are people who change roles
dependant on whom they are with or the situation they want to explore, they are
often called switches. There are some who never change roles, they feel
"hard wired" to a particular pattern and get joy and contentment from being just
that way.
We do not always fit under a particular title or role either. A quick
caveat or warning; in many cases, if you
attempt to label anyone, they'll very possibly become offended because you make
value judgments when you assign labels. The best thing to do in any sort
of exploration is to observe, allow others to label themselves either by action or
pronouncement and then you can adjust your behavior according to what seems most
appropriate for the location and situation. Because we are adaptable humans we
tend to change based on what we experience thus our likes/dislikes are variable depending
where we find ourselves at any given time. We all live
somewhere on the spectrum and so we like different things depending on where we
are on it. I've always said that no one is pure one thing or another,
there are elements in us that we sometimes, with the right person or people,
would like to explore. What we do all have in common is that we are seeking
pleasure and some form of security or stability. We are willing to explore some of the limits of
our imaginations and abilities. We basically all search for similar things,
happiness and fulfillment.
Tags: BDSM Bondage Discipline Sadism Masochism
